How to win an argument with an idiot

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, you can see it coming.

Winning an argument with an idiot is easy.

Just agree with them.

Try it.

It gives you a critical few moments to edge out the door and into the safety of a conversation with Mary from Accounting about what kind of gravy goes best with veal pies.

Most idiot conversations are just someone trying to win an argument to prove their relevance to themselves.

Like which shade of green needs to be on the pack.

Or whether outdoor posters are a better use of funds than social media.

Despite the two hour meeting on whether a particular shade of green is exactly right, more often that not, those discussions are more about ego than being right. In the real world, where TVs aren’t colour balanced, the “exact” shade of green depends on which child spilled which particular flavoured drink on the remote control.

Next time you get stuck in a conversation with someone who’s determined to be right, ask yourself, “Will it matter?”

Will it disprove the company values?

Will it cost money?

Will it cost reputation?

Is this a decision (or just an opinion)?

(The thing is, most idiots aren’t stupid. They’ll only pick a fight on stuff that doesn’t ultimately matter.)

If the answers are no, no, no and no, let the idiot win.

No matter what their point is, you win.

You can get on with your life. And they can take crazy someplace else.

Of course, it’s harder when the idiot is you.

But it still works.

Agree with the idiot in your head.

Get out of the conversation.

And come back to it once you’ve had a nap.

Or a chat about yesterday’s footy.

Or a pie.